How therapy saved my life!

What's going on people! I hope that you have all have an amazing weekend! I haven't done a post in a few days as to be completely honest, I was really unsure of a topic to do and I feel like this week has been a mad one for me with so much going on. I woke up on Sunday and was really wondering what I would like to post for you. I went about my day and was driving home from doing some housework at my grandmothers and then it hit me. I have wanted to talk about my personal experiences with you all too! And when I think about what really helped me when I was in my extremely dark place, along with amazing friends and family and the NHS helping me through. I need to tell you all how going to therapy completed changed my life and to be honest if it wasn't for me making that step in my life, I wouldn't be here talking to you all today!

I have always been an emotional person and someone who wears his heart on his sleeve but this post is quite a sensitive one, even for me, not that that is a bad thing! I am hoping that this will help others who are afraid to speak out to anyone especially someone who they do not know, such as a professional.

If you have read my "About" page on my blog I explain a little about my situation but it all started back in the summer of 2018 when I knew something really wasn't right in my mind. I was constantly low and just felt that that my life was worthless and I could feel myself falling deeper and deeper into this dark place that I felt I could not get out of. The main problem was I was keeping this all to myself and felt that I needed to deal with things on my own as it for one, was my problem and two, I do not want to be a burden on any of my loved ones lives.

Months went by and after a few bad things occurring in my life, dealing with the loss of an old friend, going through a breakup at the time, I just felt life could not get any worse for me. I was getting into work at 7 in the morning and leaving at gone 9 at night, I was just so desperate to get away from my thoughts and feelings to try and "keep busy" which I would advise you all is a bad idea when you are in this place. Because drowning yourself in work will never help you overcome these thoughts. They will still be there and come back worse than they have been. I wouldn't see my friends, I would just work and then go home and that sadly was my routine for a long time.

Early 2019, people had noticed something was not right but I shut them away and in March 2019, I come to the point where I felt that I have nowhere else to turn. I had once stopped a friend from taking his life a few years back and never in a millions years did I think I would come so close to taking my own life, it was the lowest point I have ever been in my life. I will never forget that night, ever. Even writing about it now really does make me feel so heartbroken that it come to that point. I was so scared and honestly was so worried if I would ever come that close again. That was when I knew I needed help before I done something stupid. I decided to speak to some family members and said that it was time I got the help that I needed. So, that was it! My mum found me a therapist who she had done a course with many years back and I explained my situation to him via email and I had a session that weekend.

When I tell you the hardest part was walking up to the door and knocking for the first session, it was one of the most nerve racking experiences of my life. It was like I had finally admitted I had something wrong and it needed to be sorted. I must admit, at first it was very hard to talk about what was going on in my mind, (especially with someone you do not know at first!) but honestly I gained the confidence to do so and began to go once a week.

Fast forward to the present, I am still going to therapy to this day and I am so proud to say that I am. I used to be very silent about this to others as I felt it would make me look vulnerable. But you to honest, I don't feel that way anymore. I feel that I have overcome so much and can tackle my battles in a much better way than I ever did! Even to this day the battle i not over but working on these things has really changed my life and saved me from making a bad decision of ending my life.

I feel that everyone has things deep inside of them that they should talk about to professionals, we all have parts of us that we need support with but I know many may disagree and that is okay. If you feel that you need to talk to someone who is qualified, please do it and I would advise anyone to do so. Whether it is through the NHS or private. Please do not suffer in silence, there are people in your life that love and care for you, more than you know and want you to be okay even if they do not know you are suffering! I know I have mentioned how much therapy have helped but I will never forget the people (my friends, work and family) who have supported me throughout my toughest points in life, if you are reading this, I will love you all forever and I have got you for life. I will look out and after you until the day I die. And to others who are reading this, whoever you are, whether you know me or not. I am here for you too, I believe in you, you have got this! And if you ever need me I am here for you.

I really hope this post comes across in a positive light to you all! As hard as it has been to write this and wondering if I should share with you all, I feel that sharing my own experiences is the best way to show how serious this kind of situation can be. I just want everyone to feel it is okay to speak up about suffering from mental health and to support in anyway I can. I want you all the be safe, happy and healthy. If anyone has any questions regarding therapy please do not hesitate to reach out and contact me like I always say. I wish you all a blessed week. Love as always!